Balaam's Ass (faith, culture, politics)

I believe the church has lost its prophetic voice by choosing sides with the powers of the world. They have become like Balaam. I am hoping to be his donkey by helping them see the error of their ways before it is too late. So, yes I am the Ass. When you read the posts you may well agree. a little light reading regularly included

Friday, October 21, 2005

Bill Simmons on the Astro's Stomach Punch

Bill Simmons thinks the Astros cannot come back after the Level 2 Stomach Punch Albert Pujols delivered. I sure hope he is correct, but I cannot be sure. However, the best part of his column was his denuniciation of Minute Maid Park and its ridiculous center field hill and short fence. After seeing more baseball games in that park than any other park, I cannot agree more.

While a beautiful setting with nice scenery, the setting is not made for MLB. I hate the hill. I hate the short field. I hate the train. I hate the city and the state. I hate the expensive beer in plastic bottles. I hate the Astros. And I really hate the roof (I would not mind the roof, if they would use it only in rain and 90+ degree weather- like they said they would). It is a sin to close a roof when the temperature is 70- that alone should disallow them from winning! Death to baseball teams less than 75 years old.Anyway, here is a bit of Simmons.

I had trouble taking the Astros-Cards series seriously because of Minute Maid
Park -- between the 300-foot homers to left field (like Lance Berkman's
ridiculous homer Monday night, which almost seemed like a check swing) and the
hill in center, it's just a little too gimmicky for my liking. For instance, one
of the key plays in Game 4 was Tavarez's climbing that hill for an
inning-savingcatch in the eighth. Sure, it was fun to watch -- but wasn't that
the equivalent of Tiger making a key putt on 16 in the Masters, only if there
was a windmill in front of the hole (like a miniature golf course)? Would that
ever happen? Ididn't watch enough of this series, but I heard a rumor that they
put a temporary alligator pit in right field for Game 3. Was that true?


  • still hate houston
  • still hate the astriods'
  • still think houston fans are among the least knowledgable in baseball*
  • still think minute maid field should be imploded
  • still think that I could hit a home run to left field
  • still want an astriods center fielder to get a concussion from hitting the flagpole (and sprain his ankle on the hill)
  • still think instant replay is needed in baseball (especially the playoffs)
  • still think those umps suck
  • still think fox should not be allowed the opportunity to continue to ruin our national pasttime with its "baseball for dummies" coverage (how can people trust the political coverage of a network which blows sports this bad)
  • Pujols home run in game 5 makes the sting less painful
  • still smiling that the 'striods could not win it in front of their fans and game 5 sucked so bad for them
  • still think Pujols is far-and-away the best player in baseball and will 1 day be considered among the best EVER (sorry A-Rod, you could be but haven't the Je?ne?sais?quoi)
    still think a "bad" Pujols season beats a career year by jones, lee, cabrera, delgado, berkman or abreau
  • still think I would rather not even make the WS if the 2nd curse in 2 years is broken
  • still hate "playoff beards"
  • still love all of the jealousy fans of other teams have towards the natural superiority of the Cardinals and their devoted, smart, loyal fans
  • still love my Cardinals more than anything non-animal or person


* my favorites comments on Astroids fans are from the comments on Gentry's blog.

" actually had to sit and listen to an astros fan last year while on my baseball trip talk to his wife and buddy about how they use "pinch hitters" in the american league so
it isn't as good as the national league where the pitchers hit. morons. every.
single. one. "

also, the 'roids fans come out of the wood work don't they? I got calls and emails from friends who know little about our national pasttime (they just happened to have connection to that miserable excuse for a city- YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE). A Cardinals' fan would not bother with a 'roids fan upon beating them. I guess the weak are gaining strength.